i’m a miserable hunk of fucking shit so im gonna queue some sketchbook stuff instead and probably disappear for a couple days til i can be a better host  ok 8/

idk whats wrong tho i wanna be cheerful for everyone so ttyl <33

i couldnt sleep so i tried to draw some junk and my frustration went through the roof instead 

Tsk ok i set my comp to do some other junk this morning, looks like making that baked alaska is gonna have to wait

to say that i feel like i’m emotionally in a place where i can give up soda pop sounds dumb but i mean

ugh you dont even know (or probably you do) this soda pop thing can get to be a fuckin’ hard core addiction, and i don’t need all that gunk in my shitty system even though i like to put it there

i don’t like craving the stuff though, and i think of having to buy all these stupid packs of soda when i’ve got so much ace water just readily available and i prefer juice anyway and i’m like damn this is a waste of funds

primarily i think i’m using ‘emotionally in a place’ because

the last time i was weaned off of soda, it was when i was staying in that dreadful hospital, and when i came out i didn’t want soda

hell i didn’t want anything

and so that’s why i drank soda as soon as i got out because i didn’t want the hospital to have taken that away from me, and to have taken everything away from me, so it was more to prove a point than anything

and so then i dove right back into being gross and guzzling it down and ugh i don’t like the way i feel when i’ve drunk some it feels icky but i still want it??

so i’m trying to stop and i think it’s going okay

u feel?

omfg i am looking through my sims tag and/??

holy shit what more can  i say why did i stop playing these omf

choice quotes include:

“ since i didn’t want anyone to miss the ~excitement~ of

a bunch of sims eating sandwiches and sleeping and going to work and stuff”

—

“gamzee just got flees!!!

dammit!!

he just gave bec a flea bath!!”

—

“he [karkat] was upset that i hadn’t included a laundry room, so i made one but i forgot to put a door on it and he just almost broke down

so i put the door, and he’s been doing gamzee’s laundry ever since”

—

“not even gamzee

now he wants to meet a vampire???”

—

“karkat came home, announced his promotion, and then took jade into the bathroom to pillowfight

just like last time”

—

“hm jade’s been sleeping all day, then bec sort of climbed up on the bed and stared at her and then

‘Bequerel Harley has gained the Adventurous trait! He will now be more curious and willing to explore the world.””

—

“i’ve almost made up for all that lost time, i know exactly how it’s gonna go down

except for one wildcard, and, well, hopefully that deer comes back, but i HAVE MY DOUBTS”

—

ye gods was that really 11 months ago??? dayum

i’m up and idk what to do

guess i’ll play the sims 

(if i post about it, my sims tag is #making a baked alaska so feel free to savior that shit)

(also yeah ive got simstucks ok dont even ask i think i might even play my accidental hackerbabes sims god)

im sorry i wanna draw and upload content and stuff for u guys but ugh

im just htis emptiness rn and i mean my stuff was ugly and character-lacking before but now even worse im out of practice so

im gonna probably keep laying in bed a few more days idk yet

im sorry im trying to remember to take my meds im so upset w myself

my biggest wish i realize for steven universe was that

u kno

steven would actually have been a girl instead of the regular cn boy protagonist

like a girl that didnt fit in w all the space babes in the house and had to learn to come into her own during the series or something, instead of just being a regular cn boy protagonist in a house full of hot space babes

dont get me wrong tho im in love maybe ill learn to like him enough anyway

send me a number and i’ll draw myself…

pokemonofficial:

1. in the clothes of my favourite character
2. as an animal
3. as a celebrity
4. how i looked when i was any younger age
5. as a new character in my favourite book/tv show
6. in what i’m wearing now
7. doing the activity i hate the most
8. doing the activity i love the most
9. doing my future job
10. as a mythical creature
11. wearing a style of clothing that i would never wear otherwise
12. wearing a reinvented version of my first halloween costume

when people ask me how old my siblings are i

literally have to first try to remember how old *I* am

and then add/subtract however many years away from me they are in my head

and then try to remember the date so i know whether they’ve had their b-days

and THEN i answer